Losing your filter…

Older woman

I have a friend who has been blessed with 90+ years of this life. At our last encounter, I was warned by her family that she had lost her filter, a rite of passage for anyone with that many miles on her tires. It was a truly memorable conversation that gave me pause…forced a spot of time to consider her opposing opinion. It was a moment that is indelibly inked on my mind.

Prentice Mulford wrote a book in 1889 titled Thoughts are Things…powerful things. In the end, we are no more than a sum total of our thoughts, some of which morph into action while most do not. The choice is yours as to which translate into action…whether that action is merely your verbalized opinion or into physical action….whether supportive or detrimental. The daily news wire reminds us of detrimental action that is born from nothing more than how somebody thinks about something. Indeed, thoughts are things….powerful things.

It is my contention that our filters should be considerably more open that they currently are based on some misguided level of political correctness. That tact certainly seems to be working for Mr. Trump!! Although the truth may sting a bit when delivered, it is the only way to pave a path for improvement….for progress.

Whether your thoughts are verbalized or not….taken action upon or not…is a fine line to straddle. We all know that obesity is a problem in our culture for a myriad of reasons. When you have a friend who is obese…or on the path to obesity…is it better for you to discuss this with your friend or simply think that he/she is obese and perhaps talk to others (aka gossip) about your friend? Which do you think is more helpful for your friend? I am not suggesting that your friendship should be contingent on your friend’s weight, but if you want what is best for your friend, you will be truthful….with compassion….something which is still a work in process for Mr. Trump!!

Consider being the one who will say what nobody else will say. Be brave. Take a risk. You may ruffle some feathers, but all the birds will be better for you doing so. Be a change agent. Make a difference. Verbalize your thoughts…from a foundation of love. Then enjoy the fruits of your labor as you actually witness the change. Life as we know it would be exponentially richer…simpler….if we all simply told the truth all the time. So the next time you are tempted to lie, which is the same as not telling the truth, opt for the truth. You will be anxious…it will sting for a spell…but not for long…and all will be better for you doing so.

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4 thoughts on “Losing your filter…”

  1. Interesting example. I know it’s only one example … that your concept can/should be applied to so many other subjects.

    However, back to your example: some things don’t need saying, in which case a filter is the kinder, simpler thing. In other words, a lot of what we say to other people is our own “stuff”, so just having the thought is plenty. The obesity observation is just that – an observation. I’m sure your friend is already aware, so you imparting unfiltered “knowledge” or “observation” (or worse yet “guidance”) is unnecessary for them … only necessary for your satisfaction.

    Why don’t we, as a global society, work on kindness, compassion, diplomacy. Getting our thoughts out, sending messages in a succinct, truth-filled envelope accompanied by a stamp of love and light?

    1. Could not agree more…and, of course, I am not suggesting proactive truth at all times…I would never suggest we walk up to the line at McDonalds and proclaim to the fat folks “hey, did you know you are fat?” That would just be mean!! However, I would suggest we be honest when asked and not cloak our answer in some entitlement rhetoric.

      And I beg an opinion to this situation….should our interaction with an alcoholic friend resemble one with an obese friend?

      1. Not at all – I see the two as quite different. I think the nature of alcoholism is such that the activities of the malady create a fuzziness of thinking allowing one to ignore one’s plight – whereas obesity is a condition of which the owner is aware, yet is not ready to make the tough choices that a change would require. I think alcoholism shows up as abuse to and misuse of those around the person with the condition whereas the person dealing with obesity is only affecting himself and is much more aware of his condition. I think they’re very different and one suggests an intervention is in order, the other an invitation.

  2. Why not? Aren’t obesity and alcoholism both detrimental to a friend’s health? And if you are truly concerned, it would be helpful on either count.

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